


It's all about the stick

by So_Caffeinated (so_caffeinated)



Series: Crazyness in Crazy Town (cross-fandom prompts) [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: "oh god oh god we're all gonna die", Gen, Humor, Innuendo, meme challenge, prompt: first time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 06:42:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/808493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/so_caffeinated/pseuds/So_Caffeinated
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you just have to shift into gear and *go*</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's all about the stick

**Author's Note:**

> Meme Challenge  
> Prompt: First Time  
> Characters: Darcy Lewis and James Potter
> 
> Please give me a little latitude on timelines and canons? M'kay? Thanks!

 

It's not that James Potter doesn't like Muggle things. He does. He totally does. Football is pretty cool and some of those shows on the telly are completely addictive and their music is so much better than the wizarding equivalent that it's not even funny. So, yeah, muggles and muggle things can be totally awesome. And, when he gets the chance, he's keen to try out muggle stuff like escalators and the internet (which is secretly magic. He swears it. Seriously). It's just that here and now seems a particularly bad time for test driving this muggle experience, so to speak.  
  
"I can totally talk you through it," she's saying, looking both two seconds from throwing up and nowhere near as confident as she's trying to sound. "Or you could, like, abracadabra it to go or whatever."  
  
"Magic doesn't really work that way, Darcy," he replies shaking his head as he stares down at her absolutely, most-definitely, totally broken leg.  
  
“And anyhow, I can’t really do much magic when my wand is as broken as your leg,” he laments, holding up the piece of mahogany wood held in one piece solely by a strand of exposed kelpie hair.  
  
It's still weird actually being allowed to discuss magic with Muggles. Well, ones with clearance to know things, anyhow. But then it’s also weird to be dealing with things like mutated scientists and alien Gods. It's funny what happens when there's no other choice.  
  
"I mean, if my wand wasn’t broken I could,” he amends, because he is awesome and brilliant and unwilling to let others think that might not be true.  
  
"Sure you could, big guy,” she says, patting his shoulder and clearly holding back some kind of lewd joke about broken wands. “But it is and we better get a move on because that moment of 'oh God, oh God we're all gonna die' is like one Loki-sized temper-tantrum away.  
  
“Let me tell you, my magical friend, that does not take long and I hate that moment... “ she continues, voice trailing off at the end. “Also I'm pretty sure the shock is starting to wear off because my leg hurts like maybe it's been snapped in two and OH WAIT, it totally has.”  
  
She's bleeding all over the passenger seat pretty steadily and there's ominous rumbling somewhere unsettlingly nearby and he wonders - not for the first time - how exactly this happened. Because Voldemort looking for immortality through ancient religions wasn't that far fetched, but the idea of him seeking out an actual Norse God who, it turned out, actually existed and was an alien was flat out nuts. The Order working with muggle superheroes and their handlers might make sense given that, but James still wasn't sure how exactly he'd ended up doing this in New York.  
  
“The anti-apparation shields are doing more harm than good and your country doesn’t have nearly a good enough floo network,” he tells her, turning the key in the ignition like he’s seen Sirius do on his motorbike a thousand times.  
  
“Take it up with Fury. I dare you,” Darcy snarks.  
  
She’s got a point. The man is one scary-ass dude and, for all his bravado, James doesn’t have a death wish. Even after facing down Voldemort and his Death Eaters for who knew how many years, he still can’t get himself to make the joke aloud about Mad-Eye and Fury walking into a bar that has been rumbling around his brain since approximately fifteen seconds after meeting the S.H.I.E.L.D. director.  
  
He holds the key too long and the engine makes an awful noise that sounds like a niffler in heat. He tells Darcy this and she raises an eyebrow at him with a universal look of disbelief he’s come to believe all women are born innately knowing how to achieve with total perfection.  
  
“Yeah... Gas is the right pedal, brake’s on the left. Shift that thing to ‘D’ to go forward and turn the wheel the way you want to go,” she says, promptly puking all over her shoes as the car lurches sharply.  
  
And that is how James Potter drove a car for the first time in the middle of New York city during an epic battle between Muggle superheroes and a Norse God and a semi-immortal dark wizard. His first time ‘parking’ was less than five minutes later and halfway through a storefront window, but that’s another story entirely.

 


End file.
